Greetings to all,
The details of my life are paramount to me in terms of casting a sense of fear upon all you plebeians. As a toddler, I was the lone survivor of a sweatshop factory riot that was put down by the Communist Regime in China. At that point, I sailed across the South China Sea on nothing but a water bed and a bottle of Hennessey onto an artificially made island, hand crafted by the Chinese government that was free from international maritime laws. Upon my arrival, I grinded hard for several years, even achieving moksha at the tender age of 8, and learned the art of seduction before making it big and traveling to Italy, where I routinely turned bungalows into trap houses while picking up a few interests such as red Ferraris and brunettes.
My adventurous life has landed me as a senior at LAMP Highschool, where I have competed four years for the speech and debate and the 2016 4A xc state champion team. Nowadays, you will find me either running and engaging in cult like behavior with my beloved xc team, re-watching segments from Gossip Girl while jamming out to The Weeknd, arguing with my mom, or occasionally scaling walls and engaging in high speed chases to save babies from amber alerts.
Now that that’s out of the way, I hope you all have a wonderful conference filled with invigorating debates and innovative ideas because if you fail me, I WILL send you to my personal gulag.